Wednesday, June 07, 2006

That's what you get for lovin' me

Killer of dreams. Bringer of woe. Crusher of fun. That's our George Lucas. Sure, you've made fun of the travesty that is the Star Wars prequels, but you've not done it like this guy (thanks to nbk for pointing this out) . No really, you haven't. It's hard to do this site justice. This guy is obsessed with the crumminess of the prequels and the "Special Editions" too. So he has 78 reasons to hate episode 1 including:

Reason #37

"You'll never get me onto a starship!"
C-3P0 says this during the movie. You see, it's funny because we know that he will spend a great deal of time on a starship during the later trilogy. Oh Lucas you scamp. The joke of making lame jokes about things that we know are going to happen just never gets old. Bravo!

I also like his nitpick number 5 for the "Special Edition" of Star Wars ( I refuse to say A New Hope)
In 1997, the addition of Boba Fett into Episode IV was just a stupid ploy to give erections to the tens of thousands of people who'd taken to worshipping the bit character. The inclusion of Boba Fett is unchanged in the DVD release, but the problems with the scene remain. The addition of Boba Fett in the scene would almost have been acceptable had it been subtle, but the Special Edition scene is anything but. It starts off with Boba Fett slowly walking by the camera. In case there are any mentally-challenged, myopic five-year-olds who haven't caught that it's Boba Fett, he stops in front of the camera and mugs! He mugs! He just looks directly at the viewer and you can imagine him giving a cheese-eating grin whilst winking behind that helmet. Boba's pose is, in a way, emblematic of Lucas's blatant disrespect for Star Wars fans.

Many of my eldest (age 5) son's friends have seen the prequels as well as the original trilogy. I think we will hold Simon back from the prequels. At his age, it is hard to comprehend how such suck-assness can coexist with such awesomeness. Once he starts dating, he will understand this paradox. Until then we have to keep the prequels locked in the attic, like you do with the crazy aunt.

If you want to feel even more of a heel, check out this info on the Topps Star Wars cards, which you so collected back in the day.

2 comments:

John Mitchell said...

It's true. I recall the trading cards being so prevalent that they made a lunchroom announcement telling kids to keep 'em at home. Sigh, such innocent times.

Tripp said...

I vaguely remember this. I also remember trying desperately to get that rare card. And of course collecting Star Wars figures, all of which were passed down to the cousins.