The latest mainstream candy bar is the Take Five. Sure there are endless variations on existing candies, like the unfortunate oversized M&Ms and the wonderful dark chocolate anything. The Take Five is meant to be something new and incredibly exciting, because it has a pretzel in it. This is doubly problematic. There isn’t supposed to be something hard in candy ( I admit to having textural issues. I won’t eat tomatoes because it is like biting into a human arm.) Also, the salty sweet thing doesn’t really work, it just tastes like too many flavors crammed into a small space, like Chubby Hubby*. I think juxtaposed flavor combinations must be simple, like chili powder on vanilla ice cream – surprisingly good.
I admit this has nothing to do with books, but I am writing a book review on intelligence reform and I know for a fact that no person reading this is interested in intelligence reform.
*Crazy-- Ben & Jerry's site will identify which groceries recently sold a given flavor of ice cream. So if you are desperate just for Fossil Fuel, you can find it.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
There's some kind of love, well there's some kind of hate
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15 comments:
T:
I dissent. The Take-5, with all its pretzelly goodness, is merely the natural progression of the iconic "two great tastes that taste great together" with some yogurt/choc-covered preztel on the cross-fader. Besides, they ease my anxiety when I try to reconcile the recommendations of the Robb-Silberman Report with the DNI paradigm established by the Intelligence Reform and Terrorism Prevention Act of 2004. Was there a rush to legislate? I don't know. But pretzels, chocolate and peanut butter friggin rock.
B
P.S. So do winegums.
B,
False
False
False
Pretzels + peanut butter -- check
Peanut butter + chocolate -- check
PB+ Pretzels + chocolate -- suckosity
I also want to complain about the small size of the candies. I can deal if I am getting Vahlrona and will be psyched for a brief explosion of goodness, but this is Hershey.
And I am not so sure, but I believe Robb Silberman did in fact endorse a strong DNI. Now I am going to make you read my review when it gets done.
T
Winegums? Come on dude, next you will tell me you enjoy drinking Moxie and chewing Teaberry gum.
Teaberry's not that bad, although the flavor - such as it is - departs even quicker than Fruit Stripe. For serious.
Moxie, on the other hand, blows.
B
Mild dissent here. I find it to be a bar that had potential that was wasted in poor execution, most notably the outer chocolate, which is without form, and nearly homemade seeming, and not in a good way. It's like they gave this idea to the interns at the factory.
Matt:
Yes, the choc is weak which adds to the displeasure. I don't even think the interns could muck this up. This is committee candy.
T
B:
Dude if it has a more transient taste than Fruit Stripes, can it be said to exist at all? I believe the only succesful FS eating strategy was to eat six or seven at once in a variety of flavs, natch. Even then the speed of decay leaves one empty.
As for Moxie, I find its continued existence inexplicable. Unlike the Brits or Aussies, we Amis don't seem to like inflicting torture foods on others, so that can't it explain it.
Oddly in the 1920s, Moxie was more popular than Coca Cola, which can only mean that in the 20s, tasting like ass was more popular than being sweet.
T
"committee candy". . .too good.
J,
Your analysis is spot on and I am glad you chose to forgo the calories, wise eating.
I do like the Smores, but keep in mind I am a slore for the marshmallow in candy. See's Scotchmallow is one of my all time favorites. If you are not down for some air puffed sugar, then you would probably not dig the Smores.
T
If you think the standard Take 5 is vile, then by all means steer clear of the white chocolate.
Even I must draw the line there. Let's see: white, chalky substance that has a foul odor . . . Sweet Jesus, they've made a candy bar out of tonsil stones!
Look out dude, Joanna is know to HATE her some white chocolate. I expect comment.
Any thoughts on the Smores?
I meant "known"
The S'mores bar is pretty wretched. Something about the shmallow in the middle was decidedly off. . . sort of like a Peep that you find under the sofa about six weeks post Easter. I choked it down 'cause I was sauced, but I should've gone with the PB Twix.
PB Twix is a nice treat. Didn't they have range of Twixes like Cookies and Cream and such? Is there a Dark Chocolate Twix? There should be.
Sorry you don't like the Smore.
Das stimmt. See the wikipedia entry for twix:
Starting in 2005, Dark Chocolate Twix became available, with a dark chocolate coating instead of milk chocolate. Discontinued special flavors include 'Double Fudge' and 'Cookies n Cream.'
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twix
Yeah I know people who did the taffy move. Not me though, not sure why, as I love taffy like I love the smiles of children.
I am so enthused about marshmallow and the Scotchmallow that I posted about it again, see above.
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