Or think about San Jose, although I know it's not that pleasant

I haven't posted any videos in awhile so hear are some. I suppose the theme is songs that I have not yet over-played.

Cracker - Big Dipper. This one loads slowly. The Richmonders look back to Santa Cruz. An under- appreciated gem.

The Wedding Present -Brassneck. Another slow loader, but what a song this is. Such a crime it did not get more play. Perhaps the finest of break-up songs - "I was wondering if it could be like before, and I think you just made me sure."

Peter, Bjorn & John - Young Folks. The definition of infectious. Don't judge it by the Conan appearance. The studio version has the rhythm section way up front.

Ladytron - Destroy Everything You Touch. Wierd video, great song.

Decemberists - Cuyahoga. They cover one of the greatest of all REM songs. Remember that awesome poster Walked, Swam, Hunted, Danced and Sang poster? That's from this song. Just for fun here is Death Cab covering the same song.

...And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead - Stand in Silence. Just a good song.

Shiny Toy Guns - Don't Cry Out. This one is borderline for me, but is working for now. It verges too close to dance music and I fear dancing.

David Cross - One Card. Cross covers the song that proves that Satan is winning.

I never thought you'd buy ice cream, since gelato is so passe

Living in the hinterlands, as I do, I look longingly to the trend setting metropoli for the oncoming food trends. Apparently, the new cool treat is froyo. Sounds ridiculous, but Pinkberry is all the buzz. Read here for more. I guess I will stay old school with Stacatto and Mio Gelatos.

In a similar vein check out the spat between the Rocco's Restaurant guy and a NYT restaurant reviewer. Be sure to read the review and the response. I don't find waygu all that exciting to begin with, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to eat under 2,000 Swords of Damocles.

Ben and Jerry's has released the new 2007 pints. Looks pretty good actually with Creme Brulee and Cinnamon Bun as stand outs for me.

This dude has the craziest blog banner I have ever seen. Actually the craziest banner I have ever seen. Also the worst name ever. The images....oh the images that are conjured.

Update: In the comments, Kevin has informed me that the disturbing blog title is a reference to his even more disturbing book title. Actually it looks pretty funny in a My Tank is Fight! kind of way.

Random crap to which I am linking today

Help for Obama.

This is creepy, the bees are disappearing.

Nastiest candy of the century.

And this is a bummer.

Via HLK, a veritable wealth of Star Wars goofiness.

And no foolin', read World War Z.

It's the same old theme since nineteen-sixteen

World War Z is a pure delight of a book. It has great scenes of action and pathos but manages to tell the story of an entire zombie war. The book is written as if it were an oral history of a global war against zombies, that starts in 2010 or so. At the end, author Max Brooks thanks his three influences, George Romero, Studs Terkel and Sir John Hackett. I am ashamed I didn't see the tie to Hackett's future histories of the Third World War in Europe, as this was one of my fave books of the 80s.

The overall war plays a bit like the Nazi invasion of the Soviet Union, with ignorance of intelligence, surprise, rout, turning the tide and then total war and final victory. The war is global and he reports it as such. He has vignettes from the US, Canada, the UK, Central Europe, Israel, South Africa, Chile, the Pacific Islands, China, Japan, India, Iran, Russia and even low earth orbit. A lot of thrillers try the multiple narrator approach while developing a few core characters. By eschewing any core characters, the author creates a series of tales that tell the overall story. Some work really well, like a pilot crashed in Zombie (or Zack in US military parlance) territory and trying to get out. Others are less effective, but who cares? The next one is only a few pages away.

The author works in a few jokes on celebrities and politicians. In a Masque of the Red Death like scene, wealthy New Yorkers debauch while the tide of death advances. While their sanctuary collapses, a thinly veiled Ann Coulter and Bill Maher get some just-about-too-die nookie. Illustrating the mass call up in the push to retake the Eastern US from the zombies, one character reports that he suspected Michael Stipe was in his unit.

The book pays more attention to how people react to the zombies than to the zombie attack, which is fine with me. There are only so many ways that you can write about attacking zombies. He does add a few new surprises to the mix, including zombies in the water.

While the book is about zombies nearly taking over the planet, it is also a critique of how the world would respond to a major problem like bird flu. The attack starts in China, where the government tries to suppress it. Refugees spread the virus. Profiteers take advantage of the situation and the rest of the world dithers until it is almost too late.

The book's website has a few points of interests. Some of the stories are available in abridged audio form. You can also calculate your chances of survival in the coming zombie war (only 40% for me.)

Empire?

Chalmers Johnson, the less crazy Noam Chomsky, is on the very useful Open Source, talking about his new book Nemesis, The Last Days of the American Republic. There is way too much talk of "empire" and loose comparisons to the British empire. If you want to talk about empire, you have to define it, which he doesn't. I also don't buy his argument that the overseas commitments by themselves threaten democracy. A lot of what he says is true, but if you are looking for a critique of the overall policy assumptions of the US, I recommend you try Bacevich's The New American Militarism.

Thomas Barnett is also on the call, he is nice counterpoint to Johnson. I think Barnett came out a little better because of Johnson's tendency to overstate his case and use scare words. It's a pity as the country needs more questioning voices.

Some beasts are bigger than others

Check out this post on really big aliens on Nerd World. I was trying to recall other super large aliens/monsters to add, but was only able to come up with a good Lovecraft reference.

Can't we all just get along?

James Blaylock is an fantasy writer in the mold of Tim Powers. Both write fantasy novels where seemingly mundane events in our world are actually being guided by supernatural forces. Blaylock appears to have had less success than Powers as many of his books, including All the Bells on Earth, are out of print.

That's too bad as All the Bells on Earth, at least, is a gentle and appealing book. The story starts out violently with two deaths and sets up a battle between the forces of good and evil. At first it would seem we are going to witness and Exorcist-esque battle between priests and minions of Lucifer. While this element remains, the main plot shifts to more of a domestic drama. The plot centers on a few citizens of a small town who are choosing whether to be selfish (evil) or giving and forgiving (good.) The shift in emphasis was peculiar, but worked out both thematically and actually made sense given the plot. It could be disappointing for those who want more of the fire and brimstone. It never quite goes away, but it is much more in the background.

On a separate note, the book was written in the early 90s and the weak economy and the weak housing market are key plot points. It's funny to think how quickly things can change.

Aspen

We spent 24 hours in Aspen this weekend. Lots of snow and wedding fun. I learned a new term at the wedding, cougar. It seems these are older women prowling for younger men at parties. I met one who took my drink and, after a pleasantry or two, asked if I was married. It's probably best she took the drink, I really didn't need a tequila anyway.

While I was perusing a few volumes at the bookstore I saw many references to the mystique of Aspen. There may be one, but on this and my previous visits I didn't see it. This isn't to say I don't like it, I quite like it, but what I have seen isn't that different from other ski towns. Certain places, and I think Aspen is one, are defined more by private spaces than public spaces. If you live there or visit with a native, you will truly experience it. Anyone can visit New York, London, Paris or other major cities and experience it via the museums, clubs, cafes and public markets and squares.

This is where a book like Ted Conover's Whiteout, Lost in Aspen comes in. Since you are unlikely to befriend a native or live in Aspen, books like that can give you an insight into what is so special about the place.

Potter, Beatrix that is

In a piece on the joys of the Times Literary Supplement, the Bookworld blogger reveals her ambivalent to negative take on Beatrix Potter. My kids were quite into these books in the 2004-2005 time frame, but seem to have grown tired of them recently. The stories do tend to add a bit of matter of fact ghastliness. In Peter Rabbit, we learn that Peter's father tried one too many times to steal veggies and ended up in a stew. In the Tale of Samuel Whiskers, young kitten Tom is captured by rats and very nearly made into a pudding. I think my kids just liked the pictures.

Lost

Well, you had to know that after last week's return to first season form, ABC went and served up a fresh pile of dung for this week's episode. TMZ has an amusing liveblogging timeline of a group of friends watching this (and all other?) episodes.

Happier things

After discussing things I think you shouldn't read, here are a few I think you should.

You may have visited Lileks.com in the past. I had been away and I see there is new content. If you are unfamiliar with Lileks, he basically takes marketing materials from the 30s to the 70s and makes fun of them. Here you can see his guide to matchbook covers. Or you might like the Orphanage of Cast Off Mascots. My absolute favorite his mockery of a Phillip Morris cigarette ad from the 40s. One of his sections, The Gallery of Regrettable Food, has been turned into a book. This one makes fun of mid 20th century cookbooks and cooking guides. It's immensely funny.

I read the short Lovecraft book At the Mountains of Madness. It really is the best work of Lovecraft. In China Mieville's excellent although spoiler laden introduction, he shows the import of Lovecraft to fiction in general. Guillermo del Toro is trying to make a movie of the book. It will not be an easy movie to make, as much of the dread comes from a massive dead alien city and very little comes from action. In order to make it work, I think they will need to develop some nightmarish visuals. I wish him luck.

Sending the pain below

Below, we discussed one's top ten books. Knowing the top ten books of your interlocutor is key when talking book recommendations. Given the Venn diagram overlap with your own preferences you can then determine the usefulness or lack thereof of that person's recommendations.

Equally useful is a list of the bottom ten, or the bottom nine in my case, as that is all I could recall. The other one is probably so bad that my subconscious has hidden it from me to protect my sanity.

Please note that I have avoided books that I thought over-rated, but included those that were disappointing because of their relationship to the author's other books.

Demons by John Shirley. Horror novels are, with limited exceptions, by definition bad. To make it into the bottom nine, the book has to take bad to a transcendent level. Since the book is about hell, maybe Shirley wants to make the book hell for the reader. Success!

Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan. While this neverending series started strong, it slowly grew into an exercise in masochism. How about 700 pages of no plot development before anything of plot significance? That would be fine if this was great or even decent writing, but it's not.

The Cold Six Thousand by James Ellroy. Ellroy is one of my favorite writers, but he decided he was James Joyce with this one. I didn't like reading Ulysses and I didn't like reading the Cold Six Thousand.

The River Why by David Duncan. If there is any genre which makes me want detonate explosives, it is the Life and How to Live It genre. In the most pedantic, insulting, and treacly manner possible these authors tell us the secrets of living in their novel-length homilies. River Why extends my distaste by adopting an awful cornpone "accent" for many of its characters. You have to deal with crap along the lines of "Seems like a body oughtta to listen to the little folk, let's see what lil' Herkey kin tell us."

The Magic Circle by Katherine Neville. Neville wrote one of my favorite books, the Eight, which may be the greatest of the smart person thrillers. The Magic Circle was a crushing disappointment. Its not a mildly bad book, it is so bad that by comparison Dan Brown should be winning Pulitzers. Check the Amazon reviews for the fans who refuse to face reality.

Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole. Perhaps its is New Orleans thing and I just don't understand. Walker Percy's forward is charming, but I still dislike the book.

Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind. Here's a shocker, a bad fantasy novel. Will wonders never cease? So what sets this one apart? The hundred plus page S&M torture/love scene was really just too much. If you want that, go read Topping From Below.

A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving. When I told Steve I didn't like the book he replied "It takes a cold hearted man to not like Owen Meany." That was going to be the name of this blog, but I chose another stupid one instead. BTW, I concur with the first line of the Publisher's Weekly review, as listed on Amazon.

Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. The worst of the worst. This is the worst book I have ever read and ever will read. If I read anything worse, my hate will become so dense that I will collapse into a black hole.

Early action

John Crace has a column in the Guardian called the Digested Read. For each book, he reads it and reduces it to a 750 word summary. They are generally snarky as hell, but he makes Geoffery Wheatcroft look certifiable in this one.

The Amazon blog has a number of employee top ten lists, many of which make me reconsider books I have spurned. Back in the 80s I was a big Pat Conroy reader, but I never read Beach Music. I saw that one on a list with which I generally agree. Then there is the Brothers K, about which I have heard raves. That book was authored by one of my bottom ten, The River Why (it burns, it burns!). So I am leery.

This is a good for a laugh, the Muppets manamana song mashed up with Star Wars. Don't watch with the glare, the editing is a bit subtle in places. Via SF Signal.

Love your television

Newsweek has a good piece on how TV is now better than movies. CG will counter that this is just because I have kids so I never go out. FALSE. When was the last time you saw a cop movie as good as the Wire or the Shield? Ok, there is the Departed, but what else? How about science fiction that can top BSG, Lost or Firefly (Serenity, but that doesn't count?) Comedy as strong as the Office or Arrested Development? Historical epics better than Rome or Deadwood? Action movies as good as 24? One of the differences is that it is the movies that are dumbed down compared to good TV:

The roster of channels has ballooned into the hundreds, creating a niche universe where shows don't need to be dumbed down in order to survive (because the dummies have their own channels). DVDs, meanwhile, have upended how we watch television, transforming shows from disposable weekly units into 8-, 12-, sometimes 22-hour movies.

This is not to say there are not great movies out there, but if I had to pick one or the other, I would pick TV.

Monday fun

Here is an article on Iain Banks (that's without the M this time) about his latest novel. It involves families, boardgames and big meany Americans.

Here is some President's Day fun from Reason.

Did you hear what Bush said about Osama? Be sure to enjoy the photo.

While HP Lovecraft gets all the love and attention, Clark Ashton Smith gets less recognition for his role in the development of horror/weird fiction. Michael Dirda has a review in the Post.

I just finished the Warrior Prophet, second in the Prince of Nothing series. If you don't like fantasy, stay away, but if you do, read on. The standard analogue for fantasy novels is medieval western Europe where princelings, emperors and some middle class interest groups vie with the declining Church for power. Sometimes the church is a magical guild, sometimes it is a religion.

Bakker sets his world in a analgoue to the ca. 1100 AD Mediterranean. The strongest power is a version of the Abassid caliphate, although it may be stronger than the historical version. The stand in for the Pope has raised a Holy War from the lands of the West (east in this case.) In the middle is the Byzantine analogue, which tries to use the Holy War as a means to retake its lost land. The fantasy element includes schools of magicians who are considered unclean but are too powerful to eliminate.

The Warrior Prophet is a monk from the north who is a Christ/Anti-Christ figure. It remains unclear if he will be a savior or destroyer. He is clearly undermining the established authorities and has his own mission, but he may be critical to the defeat of the Consult, the uber-evil and hidden demons of the world.

The book stands apart from other fantasy for its constructivist philosophy. Many of the characters including the Warrior Prophet see nationhood, religion and hierarchy as social constructs, which define thinking. The Prophet on the other hand is expert at manipulating the assumptions built into the constructs and in redefining them. Shades of the Bush Administration staffer who derided the reality based community.

Firefly

Firefly was a scifi TV show that lasted for one season and spawned a movie, Serenity. I watched the movie first, which is a bit like watching the Star Wars movies in chronological order. So many of the surprises are spoiled. It doesn't matter as the show's mix of humor and interesting characters make for a enjoyable time.

No doubt hoping for a fan-based revival a la Star Trek, you can find fan sites like Browncoats.com, Fireflyfans.net and Still Flying. Who knows, maybe it will work. I for one think the show is missing a key element required for current TV show success, grimness. The show is just to happy go lucky, even when they end up killin' those what need killin'.

The show is set in a star system settled by a merged US - China alliance. Originally it was a loose confederation, but the alliance imposed a strict federal system by force. Sound familiar? There is a definate reference to the U.S. Civil war with the future confederates as the freedom lovers and the federals as oppressive bastards. Joss Whedon makes even more of a connection with overt Western references (country music theme, guns for hire, train robbing.) The heroes, ex-soldiers from the losing side, are jolly robbers who steal from the bad and give back to the good. Really this is like the Outlaw Josey Wales in space, if Clint was a lot nicer.

In order to succeed in modern TV, the main characters have to face nasty moral choices, sometimes making good ones and sometimes choosing among bad ones. The Shield's Mackie is a rather nasty but occasionally likable fellow, a sort of Tony Soprano with a badge. The main characters on Lost have great sins on their hearts. BSG is one giant grimfest. Rome and Deadwood feature characters that are as violent as the worlds they inhabit.

I'm not saying I want the Firefly crew to roll into town and get all Peckinpah on whatever unfortunates stray into their path. But they are criminals trying to eke a living in a nasty corner of their universe. Yes, they are killers with hearts of gold, but they ARE killers. Again, I like the show and recommend it to fans of quirky scifi. But as the quirkiest show of all, Arrested Development, demonstrates, better to be grim than quirky if you want to stay on the air.

Misc.

Here is an amusing Newsweek piece on a new trend, expensive aged beer. This is surprising as beer is generally the relaxed inexpensive alcohol or as the author puts it"It is acceptable in certain circles to chug it, “shotgun” it or siphon it into oneself through a long funnel; the same cannot be said, sadly, for wine or piña coladas." So yes the article is a bit tongue in cheek. (thanks NBK!)

Some site, SF Signal maybe, re-linked to sf author David Brin's takedown of Star Wars as an elitist throwback, esp when compared to Star Trek. Its a worth a read. Also fun is this spoof Tie-Tanic.

Back in the day one of our favorite creepy sex songs was Soft Cell's Sex Dwarf. It remains creepy and this video adds to the creepiness. Fellow fan of deviant sex Trent Reznor covers the song here. (more thanks for NBK)

If you've not seen it yet, Steve Martin's 72 virgins is a hoot (thanks Sven.)

As a thank you to NBK, I give you Slayer in the NYT.

Finally, The Sterns of Roadfood send more love Portland way. Bakeries Saint Cupcake and Crema get reviews. We visited Saint Cupcake yesterday in hopes of finding the pistachio cupcake. No dice. I should've checked the schedule. I made due with the Red Velvet, which is a reliably delicious confection. As the NYT and myself are often in synch, they have an in-depth piece on the southern delicacy Red Velvet Cake.

John Paul Jones

Evan Thomas's John Paul Jones is a good character study of America's first naval leader. Incredibly ambitious, Jones worked his way into the American Navy where, on the Ranger and Bon Homme Richard, he brought the war of indepedence to Britain and gave the US its first naval victory.

The book is a biography, so it isn't just naval action. Thomas portrays Jones as one of those who excels in one field, ship to ship combat, while failing miserably at others, like court politics. Jones alienated many of those around him, and his humble origins probably didn't help him at the French court. After the Revolution, Jones hoped to be the first Admiral of the US Navy, but Congress had little interest in a Navy at that point. So Jones went to Russia, where he won victories for Catherine, but made enemies at court and was ejected.

The battle scenes are excellent, with handy maps to explain the fight between Serapis and Bon Homme Richard. One sign of good popular military historian is the ability to describe the overall action without getting lost in detail. Evans presents these scenes in a clear manner and notes the debates about really happened at certain places. He is kind enough to name his sources in these debate. Moving from one of the smallest of military engagements, Thomas's current book is Sea of Thunder, which concerns the Battle of Leyte Gulf, the largest naval battle in history.

Credit where it is due

In a piece about the decline of independent bookstores, Henry at Crooked Timber notes the passing of another sort of book shopping experience, the drug store book rack. In the old days, this was a random mix of trashy novels, classics and Ballantine War Books. Today it is just another version of the Airport Kobayashi Maru book buying experience, that is to say, racks of the same top selling crap.

Like Henry, my reading was really kicked off by the pulpy trash I could find down at the drug store, in my case People's Drug. In the my formative reading years (10-15?) I had to be an opportunistic book shopper and the trips to the grocery and drugstore were one of my best shots at getting a few moments to peruse the titles. The library was a possibility, but at that age I was intimidated by the library. While I am now a shout from the mountain tops fan of libraries, when you first visit, you really need a sherpa. The limited selection of salacious titles at the drugstore were just the gateway books I needed.

While the chance of me picking up a Casca, Night of the Crabs, Rat Bastards or a Shaun Hutson ( be sure to read the aptly titled Shaun's Shit) is close to nil, I must acknowledge my debt to these books. I'm just glad my tastes expanded, otherwise this blog would be called Shitty Books About Monsters and Guns Are My Only Friends.

Dewd....

OK, so the righties are mad that left leaning Daily Show is popular. So in order to counter its influence, Fox has a new faux news show of their own. The libertarian Reason doesn't like it. The bits I saw are pretty lame. With the exception of Anne Coulter(!) gently mocking herself(!!!!), this bit is not funny. This bit is worse, which is bad news as it appears to be the lead comedy team. The dude attempts to model Jon Stewart's delivery. And fails to be funny. At all. The problem is that this team is putting ideology ahead of funny, which is wrong, so wrong.

It's unfortunate that the producers couldn't assemble the leading right-leaning funnyfolk, like PJ O'Rourke. Or Jonah Goldberg from the Corner. He's funny and he knows pop culture, which helps. Comedian Larry Miller, who has appeared in Christopher Guest films, is conservative and a comedian, hire him. The folks at Reason are quite funny, but also off the rez, so I guess they are not the right group.