Thai food will make you masturbate

Or so the Mormons have it. Number 15 on their jacking-off-prevention techniques is to avoid spicy food. You should also keep a calendar and color in each day you abuse yourself in black. This will be your book of shame. Unfortunately you are going to get fat if you follow their rules, as you are advised to head to the kitchen and snack whenever the temptation becomes too great. On the plus side it is going to save the lives of a lot of kittens.